Archive for the 'Funny' Category

Pro-Lifer Upset at Satire

I think the title pretty much sums up this post. This guy needs to stop taking himself so seriously, along with a few million other liberal hippies.

Here are some quotes from a pro-abortion person, Miss Caroline Weber, who wrote an article at The Onion online magazine.

The Onion Article

When referring to the killing of her child she said:

“I am totally psyched for this abortion!”

“Those pro-life activists made it pretty clear that, unlike me, they actually think abortion is bad and to be avoided. Are they nuts? Abortion is the best!”

“It wasn’t until now that I was lucky enough to be pregnant with a child I had no means to support.”

“I just know it’s going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever!”

The Onion is a well known satire website. They even have a syndicated radio show that airs across the nation on various FM stations.


The Onion article this guy is upset about is dripping from every pore with sarcasm. You gotta be seriously out of touch with reality to take something like that seriously. Out of touch is probably easy for this guy, he’s pro-life after all.

Jay Tea at Wizbang got a good kick outta this too.

Popularity: 3% [?]

No Windows Vista Rewrite

Some news place in Australia claimed an inside source at Microsoft told them 60% of the existing Windows Vista code would have to be rewritten. This news had the techie bloggers pretty excited today.

Up to 60% of the code in the new consumer version of Microsoft new Vista operating system is set to be rewritten as the Company “scrambles” to fix internal problems a Microsoft insider has confirmed to SHN.

Alec Saunders brings the obvious to light in his post. The “obvious” of course being the logistics of such a project.

What utter crap! 60% of Windows is millions and millions of lines of code. You can’t rewrite that much code, and ship in January. Maybe January 2009 if a 60% rewrite is needed, but not January 2007. Perhaps Microsoft is in denial, and Vista will never ship, or perhaps reporter Dave Richards is a tad too quick to jump on “the sky is falling” bandwagon.

There’s absolutely no way in hell they could ship Vista by Jan 2007 if they had to do 60% of the code again. They probably should do it though, just base it off Linux or BSD and they’d be good. heh.

Microsofts Robert Scoble
says the 60% code rewrite claims are bogus. Thank you Robert, my mind is at ease.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Gay Cowboys With Sheep

I really like the new RSS “clips” found in Gmail. I added the Yahoo News most e-mailed feed and saw something about gay cowboys in a movie called “Brokeback Mountain“.

In “Brokeback Mountain”, two cowboys fall in love. OK, thats pretty far from the norm, but I can deal with that. The part that creeps me out is they “fall in love while wrangling sheep in Wyoming in 1963.”

Based on an Annie Proulx’s short story, “Brokeback Mountain” is about two cowboys who meet and fall in love while wrangling sheep in Wyoming in 1963. Their love lasts through two decades as they each get married to women and live “normal” lives.

“Moving and majestic,” said The New York Times; “An American masterpiece” said the New York Observer; “Unmissable and unforgettable” said Rolling Stone.

But The Wall Street Journal asked, “Is America ready for Marlboro men who love men?”


To answer that last question, probably, but should we have to be ready? It just seems like such an obvious attempt to generate hype. But that’s OK, I can’t get past the whole sheep rancher thing. There couldn’t have been a lot to do back then other than fuck some sheep and maybe even a dude here and there.

The story line sounds like it would make a better animated show on Comedy Central or Adult Swim than it does a movie.

Popularity: 12% [?]

Cindy, Mother of Jesus

Sorry, I know I said I was done before, but Cindy Sheehan is a great source of entertainment, so I’m gonna put her to use. She’s comparing herself to Mary, Mother of Jesus. And while she’s doing that, she relates “devious men with evil agendas” (Bush and crew) to christs killers.

This doesn’t offend me at all because I’m not a religious guy, it’s just funny as hell. I still can’t believe how delusional she is:

On Ash Wednesday of 2004, a few days before Casey left for Iraq, his dad and I went to see The Passion of the Christ. That was our Ash Wednesday penance that year. Casey’s dad fell asleep during the scourging scene while I sat in my seat and quietly sobbed. I was especially touched by the character that played Jesus’ mom who followed her son along while he was being violently tortured and killed by devious men with an evil agenda. Of course, since I became a mom over 26 years ago, I have identified with Mary as she sobbed at the foot of her sons cross and cradled his lifeless body in her arms.

The Political Teen was responsible for helping me find this. Decision ‘08 has the link to Cindy’s full HuffPo entry.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Paris is Pregnant

I can’t confirm the statement which makes up the title of this post, caught your attention though, right? All day long, one of the top searches on Technorati has been “paris hilton pregnant”. Who the fuck cares? I can’t honestly believe that many people are searching to find out if Paris is pregnant. She’s a cumslut attention whore who shouldn’t even be allowed to breed.

This just reminded me of the South Park that was on Comedy Central lastnight. Paris and Mr. Slave have a “whore-off” to see who the biggest whore is. Paris whips out a pineapple and proceeds to sit on the pineapple until nothing but the top is sticking out from under her skirt. Then Mr. Slave owns her by taking off his pants, holds his cock in his hand, and jumps on Paris’s head, making her disappear within his ass.

The point is, Americans and pop-culture types in general shouldn’t give Paris any more attention than she deserves. Yes, she’s probably preggo. She’s probably no stranger to being preggo, abortion seems like it’d be her kind of thing.

South Park was trying to get the message across that parents shouldn’t allow their kids to act like Paris. Parents shouldn’t even allow their young children to know of her existance. Pretty soon we’ll have third graders running around in tube tops and thongs…as was the case in South Park.

It still baffles me that this is one of the top searches on Technorati, and has been all day. I shouldn’t be surprised though, people are retards.

Seriously though, I can’t even find one reliable source reporting that Paris is preggo. What the fuck makes people search for shit like this? That’s what I wanna know. Must be on the National Enquirer or some shit like that, like “Bush’s Booze Cricis” was.

UPDATE: A few blogs are taking note of this, mostly just taking note that “paris hilton pregnant” is a technorati top search. Technorandom says it’s undoubtedly a lie…in a very sarcastic way. And JensOfNorway would like to let everyone know you can place wagers on topics like this, and supposedly make a decent amount of money. Uncle Fire takes basically the same approach that I took: People are fucking stupid for even paying attention to shit like this. I include myself in the “fucking stupid” group, otherwise I wouldn’t even be writing about this.

Oh, I think this post would make a good dessert with Basil’s lunch…gotta be about supper time though. Might as well participate in the Mudville Gazette open post too, along with Jo’s Cafe (TGIF Specials) and Cafe Oregano.

Popularity: 4% [?]

How Dare You President Bush?

This is too good to pass up. Everyone in the world knows that George W. Bush is to blame for basically every problem the world has. It’s just a fact. For example: The Iowa vs. Iowa State game is this weekend in Ames. It’s entirely Bush’s fault it’s in Ames. Now I won’t be able to get around quickly to my usual destinations. In relation to that I’ll end up spending more money on gasoline. It’s in Ames because there’s a slightly higher black population in Iowa City rather than in Ames. And you know, Bush hates black people, so the fewer the better. I’m just glad to see that our president is able to keep on top of so many things.

Yah, I don’t really have much talent for satire, so I’ll just let you read the good stuff for yourself. This is the first time I’ve seen Six Meat Buffet “lash out” at president Bush like this. ;)

Bush is getting blamed for basically everything. It’s not even humanly possible for one man to be responsible for everything people are blaming on him. It’s sad but also totally funny. The left in this country will believe anything they read on Daily Kos or Democratic Underground. Their brains have gotta be almost totally wasted away.

H/T: Rusty @ The Jawa Report

Popularity: 2% [?]



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